


Coward

by marevens



Series: be your lover [2]
Category: tom holland - Fandom
Genre: F/M, a happy ending to a very angst story, your wishes are my command
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 08:57:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14766506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marevens/pseuds/marevens
Summary: Tom finds himself at Harrison’s rehearsal dinner, expecting everything to go as planned, until he sees a familiar face, which he hasn’t seen in a year, and turns things around





	Coward

**Author's Note:**

> your wishes are my demand !! it took me a while to whenever I should upload this, mainly because happy ending for me are not a thing, but I reached 300 and I’m stuck on writers block with mitaos so, here’s my gift to y’all, and thank you for loving ilydym so much. Part 3? maybe???

I splashed my face with the warm water coming out of the fosset. I rubbed my red eyes, making them even redder but the reflection in front of me was still blurry. I tried catching small breaths, trying to sober myself up. A knock on the door made startled.

“Oy, Tom you in there?” I heard my brother’s voice talking on the other side.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute” I shouted, hoping my drunken voice wasn’t obvious

“The toasts are about to start” Harry said. I took a deep breath, before opening the door and heard a familiar voice outside. (Y/N)

I must have had to many shots to be hearing her voice. It wasn’t her. It couldn’t be her. Harrison would have told me she was invited. Of course, she was invited, her best friend is getting married to my best friend. I looked back at the mirror trying to compose myself. Get your shit together Tom. I closed my eyes, and opened them hoping this was all part of my drunken imagination.

Once I opened the door, my brother was gone, so was her voice, maybe it was all just my imagination playing tricks on my mind. I tried looking for somebody inside but they all had gone to the patio. It was time for the toast and my conscience was halfway underground, Harrison was going to kill me, and it’s justified.

As much people don’t tend to believe me but Harrison planned this wedding, the whole rehearsal dinner, Harrison had planned it from top to bottom, to every small detail like a napkin to a big one, like what he was going to wear and if I show up drunk, giving the best man speech, my head was ending up in the tower.

I slide the door to the patio and saw one the bridesmaid starting to give a speech. I moved quickly to the crowd, trying to get to my sit next to Harrison. I drunkly apologized as I moved in the crowd. Harrison gave me a dirty look once he saw the state I was in.

“What the fuck is wrong with you mate” Harrison whispered to me, once I sat down.

“I got carried away at the bar, sorry mate” I apologized. The last thing I wanted was to ruin the rehearsal dinner.

“You are not doing your toast like this mate, I’ll ask Harry to step in for you” He weirdly sounded calm, handing me a bottle of water that was next to him.

“I’ll be fine. I got this” I said trying to not only convince him, but myself that I could do this. Harrison gave me worried before agreeing with me.

Everyone applauded once the redhead stopped talking, the bride gave her a warm hug, whipping away her tears. If I was being honest, I didn’t listen to word she said, my head was still spinning, and wouldn’t stop thinking about (Y/N) voice talking to my brother. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real.

My sense came back to me when Harrison tapped my shoulder, handing me the microphone. He looked at, asking If I was okay, I simply nodded, hoping he would just forget about my drunken state.

I stood up, I clearing my throat, before speaking “Hello, ahm, my name’s Tom for those who don’t know me. I’m Harrison best friend and best man. I’m so lucky to have this person has my best friend –” I stopped when I notice the familiar face in the crowd. She wasn’t trying to hide, but she didn’t want to be noticed, she didn’t want me notice, but I did. “Ahm… Sorry” I couldn’t keep my eyes of her, she looked the same but I could tell something was different. Her hair in a ponytail, and stunning black dress. My stomach was about to explode “I think- Oh shit” I turned around, letting myself be sick.

I heard the crowd groan and Harrison stood up, grabbing me by the shoulder. Once I was done throwing up, Harrison dragged me inside to our apartment, soon to be just mine. 

“What the fuck was that? I thought you said you were fine” I angrily said to me. I knew he was trying his best not to scream at me. I walk to refrigerator, grabbing a cold bottle of water, trying to calm my throat and my stomach.

“I-”I began talking but I didn’t know what to start with, apologize for throwing up? Being furious at him that he didn’t tell me (Y/N) was back in town? “Sh- She’s back” I said, hoping he didn’t know and that’s why he didn’t, or couldn’t tell me. I looked at him. I felt my eyes tear up. He looked down at his feet, mumbling something. “What was that?” I asked

“I know” He cleared his throat “She called Nina a few days ago, saying she was going to be in town for the rehearsal and the wedding. She said she was going to be late so I hoped you wouldn’t have to dumped into her”

I scoffed “You didn’t think of giving me a heads up?” 

“I was going to tell you before the wedding” He explained himself

“Fucking dick. You know how miserable I was when she left, and you didn’t even tell me she was in town”

“She doesn’t want to talk to you” He said firmly 

“Maybe she does. It’s been a year, I’m sure she wants to kn-“ Harrison interrupted me.

“She doesn’t. You broke her heart Tom. You told her you didn’t care about her feelings. That you don’t love her. You can expect her to forgive you” He said getting a little heated at me

“I’m- I’m not expecting that. I just want to talk to her” I said calmly at him, I didn’t feel like fighting over this, at least not again

“Do whatever you want Tom. Just don’t fuck up my wedding” He said walking away. I threw my hands into the air. For fuck sakes

Harrison slid the door shut. I wasn’t planning on going on outside anymore. If I did, Harrison and Nina would probably be waiting to murder me.

I closed my eyes, placing my hands above them, resting my elbows on the counter. What the fuck is going on?

The last time I saw (Y/N) she left my apartment in tears. I had broken her heart, and mine in the progress. Don’t ask me why I did it, I don’t even know myself. I loved her. I loved her when she was in my bed every night. I loved her when she was processing her love for me. I loved her when I broke her heart. And I love her still.

I remember calling Harrison after that night, he had call me a twat, a dickhead, imbicil, possibly every idiot synonym in the dictionary, and some who hasn’t been added. After she walked away, I wanted to run back to her, but it was a little too late for that. And later I found that she got a job at D.C, and it wasn’t after 5 months of her already being there, that Harry told me.

I heard the door slid open, I ignored it. I didn’t want to deal with Harrison again, or my brothers. I didn’t need another headache.

“This place is nicer” a female voice said. I looked up and saw (Y/N) looking around my living room. “Why did you move?” She asked, grabbing a candy from the jar in front of me.

Why did you? “Just… needed a fresh start” I said, hoping she took the hint

“I know that feeling” She took the hint.

My mind was acting crazy around her. Especially in front of her, having her so close to me was driving me insane. I was completely out of words, it could be alcohol, or I think it’s just the fact, that after a year, my feelings towards her haven’t changed, I think they just grew even more.

“You okay? After what happened outside, you look like you need a hospital” She said, her voice sounded concerned, which made my stomach into a white noise.

“It was just, too much to drink at the wrong time “I said, smiling at her “You look stunning, by the way. I couldn’t take my eyes of you out there” I intentionally blurred out

“Tom…” She started talking but I cut her off

“I just thought you needed to know, unless you have a boyfriend now I have to wary about” I said jokingly, but hoping she didn’t have somebody waiting at home for her

“I’m not seeing anyone” She said, looking at me. I took my eyes away from her.

“Why did you leave?” She opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out “I went to your apartment, a week after, and everything was gone. I asked, and they all said you just had changed places because your lease was up, but it wasn’t that, was it?” I asked, knowing the answer, but I needed to hear it from her.

She shook her head “That day, I got offered a scholarship to D.C and I wanted to take it but that meant leaving you, so I told you how I felt, not just because it was eating me inside, but I wanted you to come with me” She quietly said. This I didn’t know.

“(Y/N) I-” I said before she cut me off

“Don’t. Just. The blame is on me, I thought you felt the same” She said, placing a hand her chest. Why couldn’t I say it back? “I have to go outside” She turned away, but I stopped her, grabbing her wrist. She frowned her face.

“Wait. Ahm. The dinner won’t be over until a few more hours, and I still feel a little light headed, so maybe we can go on a walk? Until it passes?” I asked. It took her while before she nodded.

(Y/N) wouldn’t stop telling me the stories of her college campus. She was excited to be there, she seemed to have found her place. I smiled when she talked about her first real American spring break.

“I wasn’t expecting it to be, like, the actual movie but it was that, and way crazier” She said, grabbing my arm, locking my arm with hers, as we kept walking around the neighborhood.

“So you ended up having a threesome with a gangster and just shooting a bunch of people?”

“Obviously, not. Just a lot of parties, and people getting full on wasted and a lot of, but a lot of drugs”

“Did you-?” I asked, expecting her to understand my question

“Oh, no. No, no. This body won’t ever see a drug in her life” I laughed at her response and she laughed with me.

Our laughter died down. It got quiet for a while. Maybe she ran out of stories, I had no stories to tell, unless she wanted to hear how I spent the first two months trying to find her new address, only to be told five months later she was in America. I’m sure she’ll have a good laugh.

“You never asked me” I blurred out. I’m wasn’t really thinking, but I needed to know more.

“What?” She asked confused.

“You never asked me to go with you, to D.C” I said. I stopped in front of park nearby my apartment. She stood in front of me, with a confused look on her face.

“Well, the question went away when you were saying those things to me” She responded, with an obvious tone.

“What if I had wanted to go with you?” I asked, something I wish she had done.

“You told me you didn’t love me. I wasn’t expecting you to pack your things and leave with a girl you don’t love” I looked away. I hated that night. I needed to make things right.

“(Y/N) You never let me apologize. I was sorry then, and I’m sorry now and I think that night is going to hunt me until my deathbed. But I’m sorry” I walked closer to her, just with a few inches away from her face.

“Are you sorry you said those things or are you sorry you don’t love me back Tom?” She asked, looking at me, moving a few feet closer to me.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t say I love you, because the truth is-” A voice from afar starting shouting my name. Oh for fuck sakes Harry, I’m going to strangle you

“What are you guys doing out here?” Harry said looking at me and (Y/N) with a confused look on his face  
“We’re just catching up” (Y/N) smiled at him

“Oh, okay. Harrison it’s looking for you” He said pointed at me “And Nina is looking for you” He pointed at (Y/N).

“What for?” I asked annoyed at him

“The dinner is just ending and Harrison kind of need the best man there and Nina just wants to see you” He said to us. I nodded and we started walking back.

Our walk back was completely awkward. I blamed Harry for making it feel awkward. If he hadn’t interrupted me, I could have told (Y/N) my feelings, and we would be in fixing all our problems in my bed.

The apartment looked completely empty, there was a few bodies still hanging around, mostly because they were too drunk to drive or to even walk to their cars. As soon as Nina saw (Y/N) walking through the door, she called out her name, dragging outside again.

“What’s up mate?” I walked up to Harrison, who was trying to clean up the messes of some people

“I was worried about you, I thought you had puked every part of you, you somehow managed to disappear but” He eyes were on (Y/N) and I looked back to see her. She was happily talking to Nina. I smiled at the view in front of me “I guess you were all alright” Harrison said, grabbing bottles and placing them on a bag.

“Yeah” I said to myself

“Has she forgiven you yet?” He asked

“Working on it” I said, hoping she would forgive me.

“She might do it after all” He said, grabbing the trash back placing it on his back and grabbing another one with his other hand.

“An hour ago, you said she didn’t want anything to do with me” I remembered his behavior from before.

“Yeah well, maybe something made me change my mind” He said, walking towards the front door.

“What do you me-”I asked but he had shut the door. Fucking douchbag

I watched Nina and (Y/N) come back inside. Nina smiled at me and headed towards Harrison’s room. (Y/N) grabbed her coat from the rack and her purse, I walked quickly towards her, not wanting her to leave, I just got her back.

“You leaving?” I asked, my throat hurt at me asking.

“Yes” She said firmly “The wedding isn’t until next week and I still have to visit my mum” I nodded acting like I was okay with her leaving.

“You can just, stay” I said quickly, before she even finished putting on her coat “We can- We can just finish our talk, you can keep telling me about American college culture” I said, glazing at her, hoping she would accept.

“I’ll stay, only because my mum’s is an hour away and driving in heels isn’t in my mood at the moment” She said, trying to keep a smile from her face. I, in the other hand, couldn’t help but give her a big smile.

Harrison walked back inside, giving me a weird a look, to why I was smiling and just ignored me and walk to his room.

“So, what were you going to say to me?”

“I should have said it sooner. When you told me you loved me, I didn’t realize how much I felt for you, it wasn’t until I saw your empty apartment, that I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That I loved you”

“You’re a little too late, aren’t you?

“I fucking am but my feelings haven’t changed. I missed you every day. Waking up next to you was a blessing, I don’t think I can count how many times I rolled over my bed, expecting you to be there but there was just an empty space. I was a fucking coward for not telling you then but I’m here now, not wanting to be away from you any second longer and I’ll pack all my shit and leave with you because I want you. I-I- I love you”

She didn’t say word. She didn’t need to. I felt her lips against mine, warm and lovely as they have always been. I deepened the kiss, wanting to feel every part of her. I could feel myself getting breathless, but I didn’t care, I didn’t want this moment to end, I want to froze this moment and kept it as a memory, I can play and play every day, even when I’m old and can barely remember my name.

I grabbed her face, pulling our lips away but no the closeness of our faces. “Let me show you how much I fucking missed you” I said, feeling every drop of blood in my body move in between my legs. She didn’t say anything, just nodded. I grabbed beneath her ass, making her jumped, she intertwined her legs at my waist, I carried her to my room, closing the door behind us.


End file.
